It's hard to be home

Being home has its ups and its downs. It has been two months since we all started to socially distance from the world around us. Initially, it was shocking. The whole world suddenly stopped. We were home and the world became a scary place. Everything was suspect. We didn't know what would make us sick. We didn't know how contagious the virus was. Every time someone coughed they received the side-eye from anyone who was nearby. We heard scary numbers coming out of New York that rose dramatically in one day.

Then there were all the crazy things that happened. No toilet paper, hand sanitizer, nail polish remover, or eggs. People became super bakers, causing flour and yeast to be sold out.

And of course, we can't forget the whole homeschooling thing. Suddenly, those of us with children had kids showing up in our conference calls, interrupting us as we worked, and asking us to help them do their schoolwork. Wow, who knew math was so complicated?

Birthdays became an interesting experience. Rather than having parties, we now do drive-bys. I never in my life thought I would be doing drive-by birthday parties.

As adults, we had to deal with the social impacts of not going out. Initially, it seemed simple enough, we needed to stay home and help slow the spread of the virus. However, a couple of months in, now it seems like something that will drag on for an unknown amount of time. Yes, states are opening up. Yes, businesses are starting to open back up. But schools are still closed. How do parents deal with that when their children are home and too young to be alone during the day? How do you go to the office if their school, daycare, or summer camp are closed?

It has been an emotional time for many. Seeing those we know and care about lose their jobs, become sick, die, struggle to deal with being away from friends and loved ones, and dealing with the emotional impact of the separation is challenging.

I've struggled with finding something meaningful and impactful to write about recently. My words seemed to be trite and simple considering the things that so many people were facing. In addition, in the last few weeks, I have found myself taking a step back, and focusing less on my online presence. Instead, I've been working on my book, writing, and designing things that have been on my to-do list.

Being home has simplified things. There's no pressure to rush from place-to-place or task-to-task. In some ways, time seems to run together. From day-to-day, it's easy to fall into a pattern of work, family, personal projects, and lose track of the world outside. I keep seeing memes that make me smile but also hold a lot of truth. They say something like:

"I remember how I used to say I couldn't do __________ because I didn't have time. Now I know that time wasn't the problem, I was."

This seems like a painful truth because it forces you to face the fact that the reason you haven't done something is that you don't want to. When you no longer have the excuse of being busy, but you still don't get things done, it's time to acknowledge that the reality is, you aren't doing it because you don't care to do it.

I have found myself doing things I kept saying I was going to do but always had a reason not to do it. I'm working on a non-fiction book and I'm having a blast. It has nothing to do with my work life, home life, or responsibilities. It's freeing and inspiring.

What are you doing that uplifts you? Inspires you? Helps you focus on life outside our current situation?

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Christy Zuehl

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