Updated: Jul 16, 2019
Today I spent a lot of time thinking about the naysayers in my life. The reason I've been thinking about it is not that I have a lot of naysayers. Instead, it's because there are people who around me who have a negative attitude. They're not necessarily people who should be allowed to influence me, but I'm human. And, when somebody says something negative or doesn't seem to support you, it's natural to feel that and to hear that, and maybe absorb that. I also have people in my life who are amazing supporters of mine. These are the people who cheer me on when I'm feeling nervous. They're the ones that believe in me even when I don't believe in myself, and they're the ones that I want to spend my time with.
I know I'm not alone in experiencing this. When you think about the people you spend the most time with, how many of them are naysayers? How many of them are dragging you
Now let's flip that question around, who around you lifts you up? Who around you makes you feel stronger and more capable?
When you consider who you're spending your time with, make sure that you are surrounding yourself with the people who lift you up. People who inspire you to be the best you that you can possibly be. People who push you outside of your comfort zone, and encourage you to be the best you, you can possibly be.
Sometimes the naysayers how are the loudest voices around you, and it's so easy to fall into the trap of listening to them. However, the thing you need to remember about those naysayers is often times the reason they are saying, “Don't do it”, is because they are scared.
What you need to make sure you're doing is surrounding yourself with people who lift you up. They may be people who have very different backgrounds and you, and very different interests. However, if they are people that make you feel inspired, that you can grow, and be a better person, then they're doing you a world of good. I have friends like this. Some are professional colleagues, some are mom friends, some family. Some are people who are great motivators because of the life they live, and they don't even know me. I can't tell you how many people I find inspiration from online.
One of the places I found was a huge source of negativity for me, was social media. There were so many people on my feed that posted negative messages all the time. In some cases, we are no longer friends on social media because the messages just weren't healthy. Sometimes, I turn off their feeds for a while to give myself a break. If they are re-posting negative posters, then I block the negative page or poster. Now what I find is the people I follow on Facebook, for example, have positive messages and inspiring themes. They're people or companies that I want to emulate or, that help me to be a better me. Whenever possible, it’s worth it to filter out the junk in your life.
As I said earlier, the reason people are naysayers is that they are bogged down by their own fears. I absolutely believe this is true. Some examples of their fears may be:
A fear that you will outshine them
A fear that they won't look as good if you do better
A fear that if something changes it'll affect them in a way that might harm them
There are lots of reasons that people are scared. The thing that you need to keep in mind though is that their fears are based on their life experiences, and their life is their life. Your life is your life. So if you are making the choices to make your life better and to have a more positive influence on the world around you because you are happier, then that's a good thing
There are times when you do need to listen to those naysayers. For example, I'm married, and my husband is an equal partner in our marriage. When I decide to make a change in my life it affects his life, and it affects my children's lives. All of those individuals deserve to have their voices heard. Sometimes, compromises have to be made to accommodate the needs of the other people in your life. Whether that's making sure that there's a backup plan, that they truly understand the impact of the changes you're making, or that they understand what you're doing and that you understand what causes them to worry. You may find that the reason that they're worried is not why you thought they were worried. If you don't talk about it, you're just leaving open a hole for that to fester. Communication is key in any family or partnership.
If you are blessed to have a great support system that says something about you. You are doing something to attract the kind of people around you that you need in your life to help you to succeed. However, if the people around you were all negative, you need to take a look at yourself and figure out what it is about yourself that you're putting out there that attracts people that are negative. It may just be habit, old relationships where they've been in your life so long you don't even realize that they are a negative influence on you. Or, it may be that you've gone through a negative phase in your own life, and so you're attracting the same thing, and what you put out is what you get back.
Talk to me about how you will manage the naysayers in your life and work towards achieving your goals. Who are your champions?