For the last month, I have been participating in a course through a local counseling and coaching office to earn my Certified Life Coach certificate. The workshop has been informative and challenging. It has NOT been a walk in the park. Instead, I have been asked to push outside my comfort zones and consider what it means to be a coach and how it impacts the people I work with. I have had to answer the questions I would ask my clients and consider the reasons that I am holding myself back. In the process, I have been working. Mentally, emotionally, and analytically. I have to ask myself why.
Why I can't do things.
Why I feel I shouldn't do things.
Why I feel I am unqualified for specific things.
Why I feel uncomfortable considering stepping outside of my comfortable experience.
The thing I have found to be the core of the reasons I don't do things? FEAR. Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Childhood lessons that no longer apply. Adult lessons that should not hold me back, but do. I have been digging deep and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster. Picking up my mental and emotional baggage and deciding what to keep and what to let go of. It's not easy. But it is worth it.
It's worth it because I will NEVER change the things that are holding me back in life if I don't change myself. If I want to keep living life the way I am today, then I don't need to change anything. However, if I want to grow my business, increase my client list, hire a team to work with me, and build something I believe in deeply, I have to do the work. That means making changes when something I believe is holding me back.
It also means considering how these changes impact my relationships and my clients. How does changing my internal narrative affect my clients? First, it opens up new areas for me to relate with my clients. Second, it opens up opportunities for me to change the relationships I have in my life. I can make them deeper and more meaningful. Or I can step away from them because they are holding me back. I have found already in the last couple of years, as I have transitioned from a career and a life that was unfulfilling and towards one that is fulfilling, that this happens. Sometimes to grow the way we want to, we grow away from things that were part of our past.
That is life and it is part of evolving. I have found that the people support and encourage me are the ones who have stayed on my radar and regularly in my life. The ones who are discouraging or naysayers have faded to the background. That's okay.
I am working for the change I want to achieve in my life. I am also working towards being a strong and valuable partner for my clients. Providing someone who will ask questions and push back. Even when it is hard or uncomfortable. As a coach, my job is to be there to provide support, encouragement, and accountability. My clients decide what that looks like for them. Sometimes it may mean calling them on their self-deception. Sometimes it will mean asking clarifying questions. Sometimes it means having a real conversation about what they truly want.
During the certification course, we talked in great depth about this. How to approach it. How to discuss it. How to confront it. What stuck with me was that core concept.
If you want to see a change - you have to make a change.
It's that simple. If you want to see a change, you have to make a change. You can't complain if you're not doing anything to create the change you want to see. Inaction is an action. Take action if you want to create change.